Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Valentine's Don't

I like to give people chances. I like to hope that the things most people think are weird are just quirks or something that makes them different from the run of the mill crowd. Some may call this optimistic, some may call it naive, and some just call it stupid. Regardless, that's how I roll...apparently.

I met a guy online and we hit it off chatting-wise. We talked for a while and he eventually asked me out. We planned to go out that Saturday which was the week before Christmas. Friday night he sends me a text telling me he has to go out of town on a last minute business trip; can we please do it the following Saturday? I say sure. Next Saturday rolls around and he texts me saying he's very sick. He hoped he'd be better which is why he waited until the day of, but he doesn't feel up to a first date. Can we do it the following Saturday? *sigh* Ok, sure. Long story short, he cancels 4 more times. (If you want to do the math folks, we're going on close to two months of cancellations)

On the last cancellation, I tell him, ok, last chance. We meet next Saturday, or we don't meet at all. The date of that Saturday was February 13th, aka Valentine's Eve, and normally I wouldn't schedule a first date at that time, but I wasn't about to make additional cancellations on my end. He agrees, no more cancellations, and decides he'd like to take me to his favorite restaurant which happens to be about 5 minutes away from his place, and about 35 minutes away from my place. That's fine with me. Meet at 8pm? Ok.

I get there right about 8:00pm and I head in to the restaurant. I do a search and I don't see him. I'm not a fan of lateness, but especially since he'd canceled so many times before, I kind of half expected him to be waiting there for me. A REAL romantic would have been waiting for me with maybe a rose or something as an I'm-sorry-you-had-to-wait-two-months-for-the-date apology, but I realize that's just the hopeless romantic in me. I take a seat at the bar, order a drink, and then wait. Around 8:15ish I send him a text asking him if he was here and I just missed him. He writes back, "Oh, you're there? Ok, I'll leave my place now then." Umm, ok... Would I have been stood up if I never texted? Who knows.

He shows up around 8:25 and meets me at the bar. He asks me if I'd like to go to a table, I say sure, and as I'm standing up he says we could probably just stay at the bar and sat down next to me. At this point, all the cancellations, the lateness, and the not listening to me would probably be red flags to most people. I, on the other hand, just wait it out, and it seemed to work out for the better.

We talk, we laugh, we have a nice time. Not too many awkward pauses, overall, pretty decent first date. He asks me what I'm doing the next day. Valentine's Day? Well, nothing really. Ok, he says, let's take a drive up the coast. Now I have long since had my rules in place and know better than breaking them. Date #2 will not be a long drive in a car where there is no escape. How about a movie instead, I suggest? How about dinner and a movie, he counters. Ok, sounds like a plan.

The next day, he calls and we set up the details of where to have dinner and what movie to see. Meet at 7pm? Sure thing. I get to the restaurant at 7pm, and oddly enough, he isn't there. I go to the bar, sit down, order a drink, and wait. Again. He shows up at 7:20, and sits down next to me at the bar without an "I'm sorry" or "Traffic was horrible." I didn't even get an "I'm running late" text. Ok, now I can see that courtesy isn't one of your strong points. He tells me he put our name in for a table, which is ridiculous because the restaurant isn't that full.

They of course seat us immediately. The hostess gives me a menu, then goes to give this D. Bag a menu, and he waves her off and tells her, "No thank you, I've already eaten." What??? Who asks someone to dinner, on Valentine's Day nonetheless, and eats before they go on the date?!?! I'm just staring at him as he says this with no verbal response. I mean, what do you say? In response to my silence, he tells me, "Oh no, go ahead and order whatever you like. I'll still cover it." Thank you. Thank you so freakin' much Mr. Charitable, because my main concern was the cost of the meal, not the awkwardness of you sitting there watching me eat. I tell him, you know what? I'll just get popcorn at the movie. Let's just go back to the bar and have a drink.

We go back to the bar and order drinks. While we're sitting there, now a little uncomfortably, he starts making comments about what's on the TV at the bar. He asks me if I like basketball. Nope, not really. I can't say that I've ever watched a game. He then asks me what I think of so-and-so and if he's having a better season then last year. Umm, I don't know. I don't even know who that guy is that you're talking about. What about this guy? He's much better on this team than the last team, don't you think? What part of I-don't-follow-basketball don't you understand? At this point, I'm really thinking about just leaving the date all together. The only thing that's stopping me is that he's already bought the tickets and at least during the movie, we don't have to talk. I look at my watch, and it's about time to head to the theater, thank god. Check please!

As we walk over to the theater, he starts talking about work. He works in financial trading, and their work is very competitive. All of his friends work in the same field, so he doesn't really know much about any other industries, jobs, etc. He asks me, "Just out of curiosity, what kind of raises and bonuses do you get in your line of work?" Inappropriate to ask, but I can tell by his tone, he genuinely has no idea as is really just curious. I tell him that I don't really get bonuses and I haven't had a raise in a couple years due to the economy, and apparently this blows his mind. He didn't believe me. How can you not get raises? I tell him no one in our company has for a while. He asks why I don't go to another company. I tell him most other companies are facing the same issues and concerns, and it would be likely I wouldn't get raises at other companies and by leaving I'd lose my seniority. He tells me his raise this year is only 24% and he's bummed about it. He then said to me, and I quote, "I just don't even understand how you can drag yourself out of bed every morning. I mean, why even show up to your job with no incentive?" Excuse me?!? Are we on a date or an interview? And who the hell are you to question me? I tell him how I am lucky to even have a job in the economy, and does he have any idea how many good employees I've have to let go over the past two years due to downsizing, and some of those good employees still can't find work?! I'm all but yelling this at him as we're sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start. My arms are crossed over my chest. My body is turned away from him. I'm frowning. I'm using my talking-to-an-idiot tone of voice. He just chuckles at what I've just said and says, "Wow, I guess there really IS no middle class anymore, huh." and pats my arm.

WHAT?! WHAT?!?!!?! Did you just call me POOR and then chuckle about it you jerk wad?!?! I was just staring at him with my jaw on the floor as the movie started. Saved by the movie you SOB.

I'm fuming at this point, but we were going to see Wolfman, and it was something I'd wanted to see, so I tried to do a little yoga breathing to settle myself instead of storming out of the theater. Sadly the movie was just terrible. Just terrible. And even though I wasn't enjoying it, some parts of it still made me jump a little, and every time I did, Mr. Charitable leaned over all up in my face to ask me if I was scared and then laugh at me. Are you fucking kidding me? Back off you weirdo! Part of me wants to get up and pretend I'm just going to the bathroom but actually just leave the theater, but I didn't for two reasons. One: No matter what kind of douches or assholes I go out with, I refuse to drop down to their level. I am a courteous, well-mannered young lady, and I'm not going to be chicken shit and run away. Two: I didn't think this dude was clear on how this date was not going well, EVEN if I ditched him. He'd probably keep calling and texting to ask if I got sick or had to leave for an emergency. I wanted to say to his face, don't contact me again, so I could be sure he got it.

At the end of the movie, as we're walking out, he asks me what I thought of the movie. Didn't like it. His response to me not liking it was, "Oh, if you liked this, you'd really like the Twilight movies." Um, what? I told you I did NOT like the movie, and aren't the Twilight movies for kids? "Well, yeah," he says, "but IF you liked this movie, you'd like the Twilight ones." I DID NOT like this one and I WILL NOT be watching Twilight movies. To this he replies, "Well, I think you'd like the Twilight stuff because it's alot like this." Mr. Charitable needs to work on a little thing I thought we all learned as children: listening. Whatever. Someone get me the hell out of here.

We're leaving the theater and he asks me, no wait, he tells me to call him later that week to see when both our schedules are free and we can meet up again. Really? Really? What part of the date did he think went well? I can't even imagine. I very politely tell him I will not be calling because I don't think this will work out. "What?" he asks me. I don't see this working out, I tell him. Thank you for dinner last night and the movie tonight, and good luck. "Are you serious?" he asks me. Uh, YEAH.

His response: "Whatever," and turns on his heel to walk away.

Happy freakin' Valentine's Day to me.


  1. Holy God Kate! That sounded liked it really sucked, but it was freaking hilarious to read!

  2. I'm sitting on my couch with Emily next to me and Connor in her lap. We're laughing our asses off. Another great post by Kate.