I'm traveling quite a bit this week, so in lieu of a long story, I'm going to take us through a handful of the pick up lines I've been lucky enough to hear in my life. All of the following can be read, A man walks up to me and says,
1) "Wanna thumb wrestle?" He holds his hand out to me as if I'm going to grab it and start thumb wrestling, waits as I just stare at him, and then follows it up with, "You probably would have beat me anyway." Waits again as he's just standing there staring at me and then says, "Thumb wrestle?"
2) "So how many kids do YOU have?"
3) "Oh my god, are you Drew Barrymore?!" to which I reply, "No, I'm not." "Oh, thank god," he says, "I hate her. She's so ugly. You're kinda hot though!" [what?]
4) (while "Kiss" from Prince is playing) "Hey, act your age not your shoe size." I stare blankly at him, and he laughs awkwardly, points up at a speaker and meekly says, "You know, like in the song?"
5) "Are you a hooker? Cuz I don't have any money, but I like you."
6) "I think you and I should get together and hang out in my mom's garage."
7) "You would not believe how much you look like my ex-girlfriend. I mean it! It's not even your look, it's the whole way you carry yourself. Man, you're just like her. Wow. Can I get your number?"
8) "My friend over there likes you, and by my friend over there, I mean me."
9) "What's your life about?"
10) "I bet your clothes look good. Oh, I mean they do look good, but they'd look better if they were dirty. No, that's not right. Dirty from the floor. They'd look good on the floor!!"
11) "Will your boyfriend over there beat me up if I hit on you, or is this cool?"
12) "I like hair." [Seriously, that's all he said. He didn't explain either.]
13) "Hey, did I tell you I'm in a band?" "Nope, this is the first time we've ever spoken." "Well I am. Hot, right?"
14) "I heard you karaoke that last song. I've heard better, but you weren't that bad I guess. Want to come sit at my table?"
15) "It's my birthday tonight, so I think you have to give me a kiss right now."
16) [My favorite] A guy asked me my name 4 times in a row, and when I told him he couldn't be that interested in me because he couldn't even remember my name, he holds out his left hand palm up and writes K A T E, one letter on each of this fingers, and then draws an arrow on his thumb, points his thumb at me, reads his hand, looks up at me and shouts, "KATE!" like a child who just passed a test at school.
Just a taste of what's out there folks. Another story to come next week!